More Aspergers versus Borderline

by Newnameelizabeth

One thing brought out by an expert psychologist in the Depp case was that Borderline Personality sufferers do not have do not have a sense of identity and thus mimic other people’s identity. Aspergers also mimic people, but it stems from a disconnect from social interaction rather than self.

Aspergers typically like to be alone so that they don’t have to deal with the constant confusion and the feeling of woeful inadequacy. Borderlines depend much more on leaching from other people’s identity in person. Aspergers can be needy too though as the lack of connected interaction creates a vacuum that is painful. Before coming to terms with the fact that the interaction deficit can’t be fixed an Aspie may latch on to one person at a time to experiment with filling the missing link. Usually it’s a special interest that fills it best. Some can find fulfillment in their non human area of focus (nurses can focus on systems), but others can just use it as an effective distraction from the ever present empty feeling. The furrowed eyebrows on Temple Grandin’s face can be from grief from disconnectedness as well as the effort of concentrated coping, her enthusiasm for animal behavior not withstanding.

Seeing your own behavior as stemming from a disorder instead of individual quirckyness is disorienting to one’s sense of identity. But it feels more like ugly duckling syndrome than cancer. It is like speaking a foreign language that no one else speaks. Aspies do get each other but it’s more like orphans getting each other than feeling connected.

Aspies have relationships of course but I think maybe they are built on faith rather than sight. Therefore the people with whom they entrust themselves must be faithful and trustworthy, and Aspies need to realize that is a pretty demanding requirement. When let down or if the other person can’t handle it all, Aspies, also like Borderlines, can fall into splitting: idealization followed by vilification. Aren’t the people who pass by evil, and what about the Good Samaritan who just dumps you at the hospital? So you develop a hospice mentality. Try to be cheerful, realize people are doing their best and look beyond.