by Andrea Elizabeth

So what I thought was existentialism is really ontology. Boo. E words are much prettier than O words. Emmanuel, Elohim, Evagrius, Ella, estimable, elocution. One smiles when one says E. One stops short when one says O. Oh. Your eyes go down. Oscar, orntothology, optimism, orthopedist, orthodontist. “Ontologically speaking”: end of intrigue. “Existentially speaking”: come, let’s soar to heights unknown to find the true nature of being… Not. Let’s get mired down in our existential angst. Truly the words should be switched. Existential angst existentially sounds much better than ontological reality when the meanings ontologically aren’t.