I don’t know which is the angel and which is the demon. They’re probably both the latter.

by Andrea Elizabeth

Originally titled, Things the mean voice says to me

Wikipedia is for lazy, uneducated dummies.

You’re an unforgivable racist for posting that article all those years ago where the author says he’s “not brown enough” to do some task. Me: I thought he was being self-deprecating in a weird, humorous way. Like saying something a racist would say as a self-aware, making onesself worse than one actually is, excuse for actually being too lazy or unmotivated to do what one should do. Or something like that. Maybe I interpreted it wrong. Or maybe you did.

Women should shut up, unless they’re not you.

I used to like you, but now I want you to leave me alone.

The other three are left undefended because they could be true. All I know is it makes me sad, and I don’t think these positions are the only options. Like St. Maximus calling Eve a prostitute. That’s the core of the issue. Maybe I’ll write more about it later, but I’ve lost my little nice voice to talk to. It used to silence this one. For now I’m going to let the mean one have its day. I’m tired of ignoring it. It has its own free will and after this many years, why should it change? It’s weird how they both existed simultaneously. The mean one and I, as the arbitrator here, have silenced the nice one.

I think I’ll close comments on this blog too.

Of course it wouldn’t be fair not to out the nice one too. Perhaps it’s the more wicked anyway. Saying things like,

I Found
And I’ll use you as a warning sign
That if you talk enough sense, then you’ll lose your mind
And I’ll use you as focal point
So I don’t lose sight of what I want
And I’ve moved further than I thought I could
But I miss you more than I thought I would
Oh I’ll use you as a warning sign
That if you talk enough sense, then you’ll lose your mind
And I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be
Right in front of me, talk some sense to me
[x2]
And I’ll use you as a makeshift gauge
Of how much to give and how much to take
Oh I’ll use you as a warning sign
That if you talk enough sense, then you’ll lose your mind
And I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be
Right in front of me, talk some sense to me
[x4]
and

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