To start things off

by Andrea Elizabeth

Today is the beginning of the Apostle’s Fast so I’m not going to have turkey with the stuffing, not dressing, I used to make at the house we sold to buy this one. That house was a 1930’s wood floor, nine-foot ceiling, ship lap walls, drop down ironing board, recessed telephone grotto, turned off gas fireplace, newly converted attic multifaceted bedroom, wood siding gem that was where my first three children (one stillborn) were born. It had one bathroom which was enough for four people, not seven. It was bought in 1991 for fifty something thousand dollars. It was sold in 2000 for ninety something. The check we got was for twenty six.

So on that newly custom tiled little island in the very big kitchen with surprisingly little counter space, I would place a turkey and stuff it with slightly pulverized Premium saltines, summer sausage and asparagus. It came out soaked with turkey broth and fat. I’ve always loved Campbell’s chicken noodle soup soggy Premium saltines, and since I don’t hardly ever feel full, I could have eaten the whole, as much as you can stuff, amount by myself. But I’ve never felt I deserved to do that, and that’s the only reason I don’t weigh 1000 pounds.

I have felt entitled to slightly over my fair share though. Wonder how these things get established. In my case, it’s because the others don’t seem to notice. They do notice other things though. Baby Ben in his high chair used to love his Gerber chicken sticks. I usually would ask him for a little bite and he would say no. They were delicious. Much better than the Vienna (Vy-een’-a) sausages I used to love when I was little. A Vienna sausage split in half along the little groove on a Premium saltine is quite good. You need something to cut the strong taste. Gerber chicken sticks don’t need Premium saltines, at least not the ones from the ’90’s.

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