why you should and should not become Orthodox

by Andrea Elizabeth

They say you’re not really Orthodox until you’ve been Orthodox for 10 years. We became Catechumens in the spring of 2004, so I guess we are. I’d say that it takes this long to come to terms with the following:

Should not:

The traditional services are too long.

Your protestant family will deeply protest.

There are too many rules.

The Priests think they’re God’s gift to us.

The Priests will let you down.

The choir is off key a lot.

It’s bad for your health.

You will fall out of love with it many times.

Orthodoxy is for losers.


The services, like the numerous Psalms, address everything in the right way.

You will learn how hard the narrow way is.

The Priests are God’s gift to us.

The Priest may be wrong, but you learn that it’s more important to critique your own reactions.

Learning to sing a capella and on key is a worthy, engaging challenge.

America was wrong to sit so much and eat so many cows, and so our epi-genetics are messed up.But were Plains Indians and Eskimos wrong to survive only on meat?

Where else is there to go? The ones who leave are narcissists.

It’s the only help for losers.