happiness, idealism and death

by Andrea Elizabeth

I deleted half a post on my other blog, which I wrote during post-epic trip blues while dealing with several times that “I died that day”, as the Princess Bride said. It was also about how I’ve made a sort of peace with “get[ting] used to disappointment”, as Wesley said. And about how I’m not a saint because I don’t have lively joy, but have settled for peace. One reason is that to be joyful is to submit to the belief that those bad times were necessarily that way and for the greater good. To be bitter and angry is the other extreme where you hate God and life for cheating you out of what should have been yours. For me, to have peace is to recognize that things have gone wrong, but will be made right in heaven, and probably not on earth. Joy would be if they were right/perfect right now.

Therefore Saints are happy with the future/death and don’t mind that the present isn’t that way yet, because they are not passionately attached to it. I still mind, but I’m almost done with my temper tantrum.

Idealism is being deluded that things are right right now, but at least they believe in things being right.

Some people are happy with things being wrong. They are the, “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em”, “you’re only human”, “you only live once”, “I’ll enable your sin if you enable mine”, “things are exactly as God originally intended” type people.

I’m more happy in nature where things are righter than than they are amongst men, which is probably because of me, so I still have some purging to do.

Why do you increase your bonds? Take hold of your life before your light grows dark and you seek help and do not find it. This life has been given to you for repentance; do not waste it in vain pursuits.

– St. Isaac the Syrian

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