10 ways to stifle your writing

by Andrea Elizabeth

1. Use a touch screen.

2. A touch screen with unintuitive auto fill and an unplaceable cursor.

3. Use it with neglected long fingernails.

4. Forget to recharge the laptop with the keyboard that makes writing flow like thinking.

5. Be too lazy to plug it in elsewhere.

6. Be very hard on yourself and assign the worst motives to your actions, like laziness instead of avoiding the discomfort of bending down to the outlet.

7. Criticize yourself for the pitty party you just enjoyed.

8. Believe that you are too lazy and self pitying to write anything good.

9. Believe goodness is only shared by participation in God, and only acquired by sainthhood, which is either unattainable or only presumed to not be so. Yet somehow others reach it, or at least know that they have better than you, as does everyone else.

10. At the same time believe you do have something to say, but no one will appreciate it. Except your co-dependent husband.