who should work?

by Andrea Elizabeth

I’m in the mood to write a really long post, not sure about what. Recent blogosphere posts on racism are interesting. I commented on one before reading the comments on another and now I feel redundant. Passivism appeals to me more than activism nowadays. I don’t want to be pushed around, so I’m against pushing apparently. Here I agree with DBH that baseball is better than football. I’ve thought that slavery would have petered out without killing hundreds of thousands of people. Some say it would have transferred to industrial/techno slavery, but that’s what the north had and is what we all now have, so? Instead of lashings, people are given entertainment drugs to placate the stress caused by not doing manual labor. What was man’s curse? – sweat and thorns. Woman’s – pain in child bearing. Amen. Those who avoid it have their reward in full. Those who resent it aren’t working out their salvation in fear and trembling. Still, come quickly, Lord Jesus.

I prayed for deliverance, however, and I believe I got it. Stress, anxiety and fear are bad. Work is good. Ideally work shouldn’t be in an atmosphere of stress, anxiety, and fear. I very much feared being separated from my kids. I don’t know how working mothers cope with that. I’m not saying it’s not possible to enjoy working, or at least feel fulfilled or productive, and that kids can’t be just as well, or even better off having a working mother, but that’s not my state of being. The biggest grief I had when my ex left was the prospect of hiring someone else to be a mother to my kids. Part of it was the belief that my kids would be traumatized and miss me, and the other part was the reality that I would miss them. It’s a big reason I homeschool. I like having them around. Sure it’s too often stressful and aggravating and frustrating (and traumatizing to maybe all of us) feeling responsible for almost every part in their lives, but the alternative is way worse. For me. Relatively speaking? I don’t know. Walk in the light you have.

I’m pretty happy with how my kids are turning out. I just hope they find happy jobs and family or monastery situations. I wont feel I’ve done a good job until that happens. Surely I’m not absolutely responsible for everything, but I can’t cop out either. Lord have mercy. Well, instead of writing a long one, I guess I better get up and actually work now – laundry or something. See ya.