Being alone
by Andrea Elizabeth
Hoda and Kathy Lee just reported a statistic that part time working moms are the happiest, full time working moms are the next happy, and stay at home moms are the least happy. If this is true, then perhaps it is because real life is harder than escape, diapers aren’t as pleasing as computers, children are immature companions, and being alone takes monastic, desert dwelling discipline.
That said, there is something to say about if mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy. I think women should have another interest, but one that can be done at home seems better. And I wonder about the happiness of the children. If they are home alone because mom’s out having a fulfilling career, then it’s a selfish happiness at the cost of the children’s. Some kids may be happy with their childcare, but again I wonder if it’s an escapist type happiness.
I think this is a perceptive comment. Yet there are degrees. Some moms need help in mothering…lest they lose their sanity and do something unthinkable. The same disconnect occurs for Dads, but somehow if Dad’s “unthinkable” is workaholism, the insanity is not seen for the sickness it is. It is not the rigid possibility, but the ability to do what must be done and yet be flexible to see the impact and adjust to work it towards good that is important. Yet the “dream” of “what’s best” or “what’s good” so often determines what folks will do, that this has to be part of the beginning. Today it sadly is not. Children are not part of the image of the perfect life… because they learned this from…. you guessed it: their parents who left them out of theirs in one way or another. Atomization seems to continue. Today’s daughters are taught to be “X” or “Y”, but to be a mom… you have to say you want to be “X and a mom (one day when everything’s perfect)”.
Engineers are taught the “best” (perfect) is the enemy of the good. How true!
James, so sorry I didn’t see this till now. Must have missed the notification.
I’m glad you brought dads into the picture. Workaholism and the industrial revolution which took dads further from home add to the isolation of mothers. And men often don’t automatically multitask to include work that isn’t as career oriented.