WordPress statistics provide the google search word or phrase that leads people to certain posts. It can be interesting to compare what they  were looking for and what they happen to find on the blog. I am particularly taking note of a search phrase that was repeated 12 times on Saturday, which I take as a message meant for this blog. I do not know who googled it though.

“How to reconcile with a scorned woman” was linked 12 times to the post about a woman scorned.

If the query is from the pov of the scorner, I’m the wrong person to ask. My post traumatic stress reaction kicks in at the idea. I liked the reply from the battered wife in the movie, Chocolat, after she moves out and her husband comes back promising that things will be different, “They already are.”

The definition from answers.com of scorned is,

1. 1. Contempt or disdain felt toward a person or object considered despicable or unworthy.
   2. The expression of such an attitude in behavior or speech; derision.
2. One spoken of or treated with contempt.

If someone has treated a woman with contempt, they have disrespected her. If one wants to reconcile with a person that they have treated with contempt, then an apology is called for, and then one needs to listen to her and show that things have changed by respecting what she says in return. If she says that she has moved on, then respect that and leave her alone. If you love her you will understand that you have caused her pain that is perpetuated by your proximity and wish her well. If she is glad for the apology and is interested in working on the relationship, then there’s a chance that new respect can be believed in time, if things really are different. I suppose it depends on the type of scorn scorned with. There are some levels of scorn that demonstrate a deep personality flaw that shows a level of damage in the perpetrator that goes beyond the persons capabilities to ever have a healthy intimate relationship with a woman. A woman needs to be protected from certain types of abuse and though there is redemption and forgiveness in Christ, I think some distance is called for.

If somehow the inquirer is not the scorner, then I suppose one could ask George. Perhaps the previously scorned woman balks easily at what she interprets as scorn but is not really. I would imagine it takes a lot of patience and tough skin to prove to her that she isn’t being scorned.

The night I came home and found that my ex husband (not George) had finally left bodily as well as soully (which he admits he did 8 years previous to then), I took my two young kids to my parents’ house and we slept in what was then the guest bedroom. Before they went to sleep I told them the following story,

“Once upon a time there was a porcupine named Snuggles who felt alone. She went up to a squirrel and asked for a hug. “No way!” said the squirrel who then ran away. She went up to a bird who didn’t even wait around for the question before it flew off. As she was sitting by a stream not daring to ask the fish swimming by, an armadillo came up to her and said, “You look like you need a hug”, and she was glad. The End.”

Subject change: A few months ago I streamlined the posts on this blog under the new title, “Studying the Classics”. That continues to be the main focus of this blog, but I’m finding when life or some other topic creeps in I’m feeling a little limited. When I changed the title I moved a bunch of posts to a new blog, Thoughts and Things, and have added a few miscellaneous posts over there, but it’s starting to feel a little too scattered. I’ll keep it on life support and may add more experimental or creative writing over there in the future, but as far as day to day blogging, which often has loose associations with other things I’ve talked about over here, for continuity’s sake, I think I’ll delimit this blog. The separation served a purpose as I wanted to move away from being so emotive. I think I’ll also go back to a shortened version of my old title being, “Words”, which would be more congruous with how the kind people who have this address on their blog roll under “Words, Words, Words”, have graciously kept it listed that way. Thank you for your patience.